In a win-win negotiation, both parties must benefit from reaching an agreement. It is said that you are not worth what you are, but what you know how to negotiate. What are our strengths? How does negotiation differ from selling? What are the main techniques?
The negotiator’s strengths
A negotiator’s main strength is the other party’s desire to make a deal, while their greatest weakness is their own desire to reach an agreement. A good negotiator must therefore try to increase the other party’s desire while reducing their own apparent desire to agree, which requires a plan B. That is why, when two parties are about to negotiate, they usually let information leak out suggesting that they expect a lot, will not give in and have other options.
Be careful, though: you must not lock yourself into your positions, and you should leave yourself a way out.
Some negotiators therefore say they always try to lower the other party’s expectations and always appear reluctant, even when they get what they asked for.
Negotiation is the extension of selling
There are many definitions: some believe negotiation is an integral part of selling, while others think that selling is part of a global exchange process. Let us try to see more clearly.
In fact, selling creates the desire for the exchange, while negotiation defines the terms of that exchange, so negotiation comes after the sale. You could even say that if the sale is done well enough, there is no need to negotiate at all, since the other party will “buy” every proposal made to them. Conversely, if the sale is not done well and the other party’s desire is weak, the negotiation will be all the more difficult.
You are probably thinking that there is not always a sale in a negotiation, and you are not wrong. Of course, there is not always a persuasion process in a non-commercial negotiation, but the stakes are high enough to create desire on both sides: the sale has already been made implicitly.
Win-win negotiation: seven basic techniques
There are several negotiation techniques; here are a few:
- The gambit is one of the most widely used. As in chess, it consists of sacrificing a minor piece to gain a better strategic position.
- Start high and treat it as a given or a basic demand. Then give ground only in small pieces and, for every concession, negotiate something in return.
- The red herring technique consists of drawing the other party’s attention to a completely irrelevant point to divert them from the key issues.
- The withdrawal counter-offer consists of refusing a concession and asking for more: you are asked to lower your price, and you reply that it is already lower than it should be and that you could raise it.
- The competing offer technique: you say you have been offered better elsewhere. Be careful, though, because the other party may well reply: “Then why are you negotiating with me? Take the other offer if it is better for you.”
- The good cop, bad cop technique: one attacks, the other comes back gently and ends up getting more than the bad cop.
- The bluff, in which one party relies on false arguments to justify its points, thinking the other will “buy” them.
Should you always negotiate?
Negotiation is better than conflict, but it can also create hostility. The question to ask yourself is what your priority is: a short-term gain from a concession at the expense of your long-term relationship with the other party, or the opposite.
If, like a carpet seller, you will never see the other party again, you can negotiate as hard as you like, but that is not always the case.
There are said to be 3 types of transactions:
- Win-win: all parties benefit from the transaction.
- Win-lose: one party wants to win more than the other
- Lose-lose: both parties try to hurt each other, each going against their own interest.
En conclusion
There are two basic rules to remember before you start negotiating:
- A bad agreement is better than a good lawsuit, as my law professor said in his very first class!
- A good agreement that the parties want to honour is one in which each party sees its own interest.
- Negotiation is also problem solving, and every problem has a solution.
In any case, it is good to know these techniques so you can spot novice negotiators trying out transparent techniques that undermine their credibility more than anything else.
Jean-Pierre Mercier
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